tragedy wears a mask to disguise itself from us
and so we never hesitate to give out empty stares
as we feel the need to convey our disapproval
of the countless unanswered prayers;
we pray from all the pain we cannot take
and we quiver on the edge of sidewalks
hoping that passersby see the torment inside our souls
and that maybe they will extend a hand.
we have drowned in regret and we've paid our tolls
so when we plea of sorrows all we ask is that you understand.
fires are burning:
brightening and warming
the cool night's air.
i wish i could share these moments
but alas, i sit alone.
and so i stare into the stars
as i ponder thoughts
of what i could become.
of what i should become.
i scribble down
what lingers in my mind
like a poet.
but my words aren't as structured
as the constructs in the city.
so maybe i could just be an architect
who designs the tallest,
most magnificent buildings.
but, the dullness of a ruler
guiding my hand and
the pressure of keeping measurements
just doesn't feel free enough.
so maybe i can be an illustrator
who sketches his very imagination.
but i kno
it was nice of you
to stick around-
but your mask came off
and now your white lies revealed,
condescending eyes watch me bleed.
i won't believe your eyes
no, i won't believe your eyes.
so where did your morals go?
i think you left them behind
when you abandoned all hope.
so i'll pick them up for you
and i'll light this match
to watch them burn away
with everything good left in me.
thick smoke is blinding and
i'm left without vision,
but it's okay; i don't need to see
to know that this was all in vain.
how did i believe your lies?
i won't believe your eyes.
so wipe the blood from your blade
and i'll stitch up these wounds
so it seems our time has come.
times past are twisted and mangled,
you act with haste and force its shape:
concluded with an ugly face
you toss it over your shoulder.
it's hard for me to know
just what it is you need when
you seem so emotionless.
i tried to understand the words
you sent to me, but they were unclear.
i hadn't noticed anything changed
but then you left me as a memory.
so this is to you and
i'll set it free to the wind;
try to let go of the idea
of what you and i could be.
listen, for they will ring the bells
when you realize that i'm gone;
just think of me when you hear their sound,
and in the meantime i'll
"i don't feel like i'm perfect enough; i need to get to that point, somehow."
i'm sorry to inform you, my dear,
for your goal may not be reached.
for you to meet such a state
is to conquer an impossible feat.
for the imperfection lays but
within the depths of your mind.
for they are buried beneath your
will to believe, believe that perfection
is not created, but for you to find.
for you see, my dear, perfection is
merely a perception. an illusion.
perceived in infinite variations,
often with many an obscure perspective.
and so you see, my dear,
while you persist you will find it
least effective, for you must
find it within
there is said to be a bridge;
a beautiful arched bridge
surrounded by an aura so dark
that anyone who would cross
would have their saddest thoughts
surface all at once.
each step would stir them,
each breath would feed them.
at the end lay an archway;
it was here that it was rumored
that these thoughts are cleansed,
and true happiness will be found.
however, it is mostly unheard of;
as most people are driven mad
and turn back too soon-
while others would be brought
to jump from its side.
beneath is a rocky river;
a river that holds the lives
and sorrows of the weak.
however, beyond the bridge
live the strong minded,
who
"it's ironic. how the water is so shitty, yet, it's so beautiful."
i sit there, in the seat next to her. thinking about what i've become- what we've become.
in regard to me, she's a master optimist... and me? i'm the petty pessimist.
the Sun beams down on the jet-black car, in which we are enclosed, and everything else too. and as the chaos in my mind runs amuck, the voice, it gets angrier. it keeps telling me these things, these things i don't want to believe. as i untangle one knot within the chaotic network of encrypted thoughts, two more knots are created, and thus, a loop is created. a little hell, within my mind.
the heat, it seems